When interest is gone

16:00. Minas Gerais. Two more hours before we reach our night stop, somewhere around Teofilo Otoni. It is now my turn to endorse the role of co-driver. Quite simple tasks: sit beside Josi, our lovely redhead driver, control the musical station (a broken Samsung tablet) and provide her with anything she might need – light up cigarettes, massage her neck, hold out the water bottle, feed her with bananas and condensed milk topping… The road is sinuous, making its way through massive mountains of various compositions: green forests, red soils, black stones… The sun is low, dazzling through the dusty windshield. Behind each hill appears a truck on the left driveway, loaded with various primary resources, such as wood and minerals.

  • I hope we find a place where we can catch Wi-Fi tonight, I tell Josi.
  • And a shower with hot water, She adds.
  • Oooohh! Let’s visualize it!!!

I get excited very easily with that kind of things. Law of attraction. I love to test It and be surprised by It. I look back at the rest of the crew, playing chips games on the back bench. I ask them:

  • What do you guys want to find in the place where we’ll stay for the night?
  • A good space to set up the tent and cook, answers Taurus.
  • Showers, adds Leo.
  • Wi-Fi, says Scorpio
  • Ok, I conclude. I also want electricity… and good food! And water to fill the bottles.
  • And I want mushrooms, magic mushrooms, adds Taurus.
  • Mhhh… We must be serious with the Law of Attraction. We should only ask for things we really need, right?
  • I want magic mushrooms! She insists.

Alright then. Visualization done. Let’s focus on the road and hope for this Oasis with hot showers, delicious food, open space for the tent and electricity and Wi-Fi, so I can upload the new blog post: Day 4 after Ayahuasca.


February 13. Noon. Back to pulling out the weeds in the garden, protected from the sun with my long-sleeves-one-suit and a hat. Had fixed my iPhone on my breast, sound on speakers, so Eric Pearl’s voice accompanied my four-hour-shift. I was still listening to this audiobook about Reconnective Healing: Heal Yourself, Heal Others. And Eric Pearl’s words were still strangely resonating with my current thoughts and feelings.

That day, he was telling me about FEARS. He said that fears interfere with love – global concept of love, all sorts of love. He said that we, humans, are scared of letting go of who we are. I could deeply understand this, in my own development and in others’ around me. Let’s take, for example, someone who has built his ego for many years, studying a career seriously, investing money, time and even more important, hope and expectations. Let’s say this person is now dreaming of becoming a painter. This shift would mean, for him, to accept that all his efforts, time and money invested in a goal that made sense at that time but doesn’t anymore, can as well just be thrown into the trash. This is very difficult for the ego to accept. We are attached to the idea we have about ourselves. It is very difficult to let go of our “I”, to leave it to the past, whether it be a 10 years training as a ballet dancer, a 30 years career as a lawyer, training for Ironman races, or, maybe worst, a long relationship in which we invested many dreams: buying a house, having kids and dying together, still in love.

In the last years, I practiced a lot dropping of “myself”. Turning the page. I dropped many dreams after investing thousands of hours and dollars. Today, I feel very good about all those things I dived into and then left to the past, without attachment. Interest was gone. The key of a healthy dreams dropping for our occidental mind, I believe, is to drop it once you have lived it 100%, once you have reached it, or almost reached it: once you got the feeling that if you wanted to, you could have reached it. After you have lived through your illusionary dream, you can drop it. Today, I’d say I am still attached to those ideas: living from my writings and, through them, help the world’s evolution; finding an ever-lasting love; being a good mother and wife; being happy and healed forever. All that, the Plant said are illusions. But I answered Her that I must live them in this life, that it is my only way to survive my 3D world. She agreed with me.

Eric Pearl also talked about Ego. Ego is our perspective to see the Oneness, he said. We can only commune with Oneness once we let go of Ego. But, he clarified, Ego is not to be starved: it is to be balanced. Then, Eric went on talking about RITUALS. He said all rituals were invented to decorate our fears: incents, stones and crystals, religions… To protect ourselves from something that doesn’t exist. From EVIL. He said that there is no such thing. He believes that in this age, human’s spirituality is evolving, and rituals will not be needed anymore. Such as science, spirituality evolves and previous beliefs are no longer useful for our future stage of evolution. Just as science books are obsolete after few decades, spirituality books will have to be renewed. And so on, old techniques (amongst which energy healing) will become obsolete. I thought of all those techniques that are now available to us: reiki, acupuncture, osteopathy, reflexology and all yoga practices I could choose from – Hatha, Vinyasa, Tantra, Ashtanga, Kundalini, Mantras, Mudras, Pranayamas… In the last weeks, in Salvador, I had discovered even more new techniques in the field of Energy Healing. I was feeling overwhelmed with all this variety. I was looking for the ONE. I thought maybe I should stop attending trainings in a specific technique, but rather focus on developing my own spirituality: my self knowledge, my inner wisdom, my third eye. Browse internet, grab what I like and practice it at home. For free.

But still, I had never tried reiki, and I thought I should do while I was in Salvador. My friend, the opera-singer, knew a reiki practitioner. I contacted her. She was out of town, so she suggested me to WhatsApp Norleide, an hollistic therapist. Norleide was not practicing Reiki anymore, but she offered me a 40 minutes Reconnective Healing session for 120 Reais (46 CAD$). I did not want to spend that much. She accepted to offer the session anyway, then I could pay any amount I would like. I understood she was really passionate about it. And generous. I decided to go. (Finally, I’d fall in love with Norleide and decide to pay the full amount. I would also make a video of her.)

So, you might ask, isn’t Eric Pearl’s Reconnective Healing another technique? Not really… It’s a new conception of our physical reality, I’d say, that allows us to work with FREQUENCIES (how particles vibrate all around us), not ENERGY (as in Reiki, for example). If Reiki or Reflexology are based on sequences to follow, Reconnective Healing is simply… intuitive. Eric Pearl explains, for example, how to know, as a practitioner, when to move your hands from above a body part to another. “When interest is gone”.  That’s all! When you got bored of what initially was teasing your attention, just as children get interested in something, immerge fully into it, and then get bored of it! I thought this was beautiful. And I could relate to this: anytime I’d give someone a massage, I’d try to be fully into it and somehow believed that I could FEEL what the person (body, soul) needed.

After finishing my gardening task, having a meal and walking the dogs with my host, I was finally ready for the beach. It was night-time. I walked to Praia do Mucugê, left my sandals and my dress on a beach sun lounger and walked into the dark water. Alone with the infinite dark sea and sky. I laid on my back, starring at the stars. “What are you?” I asked them. I knew we were separated by millions of light years… What did this mean? Maybe they were parallel dimensions. Maybe I was also in those dimensions. Maybe my soul was fragmented in an infinite number. And so, maybe I was a bit everywhere. In those stars. And in other human bodies. Aren’t « soul mates » fragmented souls finding each other? Actually, aren’t we all fragments of the same soul? I thought about the story of Adam and Eve, in the Genesis.

The woman was made of a rib out of the side of Adam; not made out of his head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be beloved.
Matthew Henry’s Commentary on the Whole Bible

Aren’t we all a separated soul? And babies… aren’t they the union of two souls?

I glanced at the trees behind the beach. Aren’t trees both male and female? Aren’t they much more perfect than humans? They don’t need words languages! They don’t need mouths or complex digestive systems! They just ARE. How humble should we become to accept that trees are more perfect than us, with all our complex inventions?

On my way back home, the sound of live music drove we to a public square, surrounded with bars and restaurants. I sat by the central fountain, gazed at the musician, alone on the stage. I placed my wrists on my thighs, palms up. Listening. Gazing. And within a seconde, I dropped into the “space in between”. Into deep relaxation. Not feeling anymore my physical body. An inch above it. No rational thought. Perceiving more. Just BEING. Feeling good, but scared. There were people around. They could have noticed that I was weird. Or maybe I would go too far into that state, and would not find the way back. And… what was controlling my body if I wasn’t inside? I shook my head to come back in. But with obscurity and live music, every second I was driven back into this deep meditation state. Almost instantly. It was unstoppable.


Teofilo Otoni is a small, dirty, dead and boring city (village?) – first sight impression. On this Sunday evening, 18:00, only few Panaderias (bakeries) are opened, selling greasy and meaty coxinhas and pasteis. Nowhere to buy fruits. Nowhere to shower, catch Wi-Fi, or set-up the tent. We ask a man where we can find good truck-stops. « On your way outside the city, maybe », he says. Josi and I firmly grasp to that hope.

We’re on the highway, driving away from the city. The sky gets darker every kilometer that dive in between the mountains. We scan the horizon. As we enter a curve, powerful fragrances of flowers and trees fill my nose, tickling my attention. Where does this perfume come from? Huge magenta flowers decorate the hillside on our left. Those plants were probably placed there by human hand; we have not seen any flowers on the road before. The delicious fragrances slowly vanish as we continue our path towards our Oasis.

  • There!

I point out a truck-stop on our left. On the sign, shining in the night under the crescent moon, I can read: Posto Curingão, 24 horas, Churrascaria. I can see a restaurant and a lot of space surrounded by wild mountains.

  • Churrascaria! I’m sure they serve delicious food! And maybe there’s Wi-Fi and hot showers!

There was all that. And from now on, Josi would ask for my visualization skills, for anything we would look for, whether it be to find truck-stops or a house she could buy. “Gabi is so good with visualization!” She would tell her friends.

Oh! And about the magic mushrooms… Taurus discovered mold on the cookies I bought at our last stop before Teofilo Otoni (they had been packaged a month before!!). That was certainly Life’s answer to our impertinence! Hahaha

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